


Wrong Number

by dwindlingflame



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alex is also mentioned, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Sorry Not Sorry, cuz shes a troll, its pretty silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2015-05-10
Packaged: 2018-03-29 22:11:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3912445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dwindlingflame/pseuds/dwindlingflame
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aomine managed to score this busty babe's phone number, but when he texted her, the person who responded was everything but busty...</p><p>HAPPY AOKAGA DAY :)!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wrong Number

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gusiruli](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gusiruli/gifts).



> This started as a random pic of text fails i saw online and i shared it with the baes and gusi wrote out most of the conversation so i decided to make it a real thing bcuz it was far too cute to not write. this has a lot of bold, capslock and a lot of silly shit. nothing says "hello again" aokaga than me being an idiot. 
> 
> also, it took almost an hour just to format this shit. im pretty sure there are a lot of errors and i rly do not feel like going back and looking anymore. lmfaooo

Aomine was excited --

\-- Excited because he finally scored the number of that hot, blond bombshell with the massive tits that were filled with nothing but his hopes and dreams of getting laid (hopefully… eventually?).

When he met her, he could definitely tell that she was older than him but that didn’t really stop him. She was also tall, very tall. Compared to Satsuki and even his mother, this girl was a giant, and somehow, that was very desirable.

Basically, to summarize, she was fucking hot and Aomine Daiki just got her number!

He strut down the street, his head held high with his nose upturned. His intention was going to make it home before he texted her -- he didn’t want to seem too desperate, ya see? -- but within 5 minutes of walking, Aomine decided that he didn’t want to wait. There was no way that he could!

Aomine whipped out his phone, his lips pulled back into a childish grin as he pulled up the number that was just entered for him. Selecting ’ _text message_ ’ as an option, he stare quietly as he tried to decide what was best to say.

“Hey” would have been fine, but it was too casual. It made him seem uninterested (and only nerds say “Hi”).

“Sup” was just too lame because no one talks like that anyway. 

“Yo” maybe? Nahhh…

Aomine frowned. Maybe he should write an entire sentence? Maybe something like “Heyy! How are you?” But then he remembered that he was _just_ talking to her. He already knows how she is. She’s fine. It’s only been 5 minutes. 

Aomine stopped walking and brought one hand to his head. Was texting someone always this hard? Ruffling his hair just a bit, he decided to stop overthinking and go with the casual “hey” and maybe… _Ah-Hah!_

Perfeeeeect.

**_Hey, girl! ;D_ **

Genius! Thank God for the creation of text faces.

Aomine hummed to himself, feeling nothing but pride in himself. Now all he had to do was wa-

_Bzzt_

She responded!

Aomine turned on his phone at lightning speeds and -

_Blondie_

**_\- Who is this?_ **

Aomine blinked. Was she that forgetful? _**Lol you gave me your number no more than five minutes ago.**_

Aomine clicked _send_ and waited. She probably gets a lot of texts from random people because she’s hot. It’s probably common for her to ask on impulse or something… And she also probably didn’t expect him to text her within 5 minutes either. 

Aomine kept repeating these little facts to himself until he believed it, or at least he tried to… Another 5 minutes passed before his phone finally buzzed again. And as he was unlocking the screen, another message came in right after. He tried his hardest to suppress the stupid grin on his face but he couldn’t. Look at how excited she was to talk to - Oh…

 _Oh_ …

_Blondie_

_**\- I think she gave you the wrong number… Ouch** _

_Blondie_

- 

Well ain’t that a bitch?

Aomine groaned, dropping his head as all of the excitement drained right from his mouth. He should have known that it was too good to be true. He stopped walking and leaned against the nearest wall, shaking his head because damn it. _**Are you serious? Or are you messing with me right now?**_

_Blondie_

**_\- I’m not sure why I’d joke about this lol. Did you ask this girl out?_ **

Aomine groaned audibly even though he knew that this mystery person on the other end couldn’t hear him. _**Not yet. I planned on asking her to lunch but obviously I can’t since she didn’t actually give me her number.**_

Aomine wasn’t sure why he was still spilling his guts to this stranger. He didn’t even know who he was talking to. As he began updating the contact info, his phone went off again. Aomine sighed and looked back to his text messages and what the hell?

_Not Blondie_

_**\- Well, I’m free. Take me instead. I wouldn’t mind having lunch right now.** _

Aomine blinked. _**do you usually invite yourself over for lunch with strangers?**_

Well now, this was an unexpected change of events.

_Not Blondie_

_**\- Nah, but it’s not the first time that this has happened.** _

Aomine wasn’t sure if this person was being serious or not.

_Not Blondie_

_**\- But I’m actually hungry this time around.** _

Okay, they were definitely serious.

Aomine turned and pressed his back against the wall before sliding down to the ground, taking a comfortable seat on the sidewalk. _**… Not the first time?**_

His phone buzzed back almost immediately.

_Not Blondie_

**_\- yeah. Strangely enough this same thing happened with three other guys._ **

Aomine snorted. He wasn’t sure who to feel sorry for, himself or this mystery person. _**Uhh… weird… And did you meet up with them too?**_

His phone was silent for a moment before it buzzed again - twice.

_Not Blondie_

**_\- nah, one cried over the chat saying how unlucky he was with girls and shit so i blocked his ass._ **

_Not Blondie_

**_\- So annoying._ **

Aomine snorted to himself just as his phone buzzed once more

_Not Blondie_

**_\- The other just apologized and never talked again so i assumed he deleted my number_ **

Aomine snickered. Yeah, he definitely felt sorry for this person more than himself. _**and the third?**_

_Not Blondie_

**_\- ...The third guy got creepy. He kept asking personal questions even when i told him i was a dude._ **

So not only did this girl give out the wrong number, but she sent out some guy’s number? He isn’t sure whether to be offended or impressed. _**so? Then what?**_

_Not Blondie_

_**\- he sent a dick pick and i almost hurled my phone out of the window**_

The cackle that escaped Aomine’s voice at that moment was so loud, a few people on the street turned in horror to look in Aomine’s direction. He didn’t care, let them stare. Aomine picked up his phone and pushed the voice recording option and continued his mad cackle into the phone before sending that as a response instead of a proper text.

_Not Blondie_

**_\- Omg asshole stfu_**  

Aomine calmed his laughter down to disjointed chuckles. _**Oh man, that’s great.**_

_Not Blondie_

_**\- It was not**_  

Aomine wiped a stray tear from his eye, grinning down at his phone as he continued talking to his guy. _**And so you decided you’d come with me today? So brave. What if I were another creep-o?**_

Right after Aomine hit send, he had this inkling of a suspicion that his text came off as flirty…

_Not Blondie_

_**\- Well, I’m hungry and free lunch is difficult to pass on** _

Aomine’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. Free lunch??? _**Uhm, excuse u. I never said I was paying for your food!**_

His phone vibrated the same moment he his send.

_Not Blondie_

**_\- And i wanted to see if you could give me a description of this girl. she really needs to stop giving away my damn number all the time_ **

_Not Blondie_

**_\- Also, you’d better pay for lunch. I’m trying to comfort you after being so brutally rejected by this woman. Be grateful._ **

Aomine was definitely tempted to go to lunch with this man just to punch him in the face for that comment. But honestly, the offer was tempting. He decided to ignore that thought for the moment in lieu of addressing those thoughts. **_she was this tall blond chick with this huuuuuuge tits. man, you wouldn’t believe. there was joy in there for days. and a tiny waist and legs to die for._**

The response, or lack thereof, was immediate

_Not Blondie_

_**\- …** _

Aomine blinked. _**wat?**_

_Not Blondie_

**_\- Did you happen to get anything more specific maybe? Did you catch her name by any chance?_ **

Aomine hummed to himself, trying to think back on the conversation he had with her at the crowded train stop. What did she say is was? Ari? Arekusu? Aki? _**nah. I didn’t really understand her. there was too much noise. but it definitely wasn’t a Japanese one. She had green eyes and was pretty tall so maybe she was American? Or European? Dunno.**_

Once again, another lightning fast text blew up his phone.

_Not Blondie_

**_\- ALEX!!!!_ **

“Ah!” Aomine felt the gears turning. _**Yeah! That’s probably it. How’d you know?**_

The response was so immediate, Aomine had a feeling this guy was already typing up his response before Aomine even confirmed it.

_Not Blondie_

**_\- THAT LITTLE SNAKE I’M GOING TO KILL HER. NO WONDER ALL OF THESE MEN WERE MESSAGING ME. I BET SHE DID THIS ON PURPOSE. OHHH WAIT TIL I GET MY HANDS ON HER_ **

Aomine laughed again, bringing his fist up to his lips where he tried to mask his laughter by biting down on his knuckle. _**Woah man, calm down there. Don’t be so hangry**_

When the guy responded again, Aomine couldn’t stop himself from laughing out loud again.

_Not Blondie_

**_I WILL NOT CALM DOEN, GOOD SIR. I HAVENT EATEN IN LIKE 3 HRS BCUZ I WAS WAITNG FOR HER TO COME HOME SO I COULD MAKE DINNER AND I CFIND OUT THAT SHE S ON THE STREET GIVIN OUT MY NUMBER LIKE SOME SORTOF DEMONIC CUPID WTF_ **

Aomine was sure someone was going to call the cops if he didn’t stop laughing so hard. _**LOLOL You’re so mad you destroyed the autocorrect. I think it gave up on fixing your typos.**_  

_Not Blondie_

**_\- FUCK THE TYPOS IM STILL HANGRY_ **

Aomine choked on another round of laughter before he stood up from his spot, ducking away from all the sideways glances he was still getting. _**okay, okay calm down there tiger. i’ll pay for your lunch if you stop capslocking at me**_

After sending that text, the realization that Aomine just officially asked a stranger on a date hit him straight in the chest and suddenly he wasn’t laughing anymore. Crap. Why wasn’t there an unsend option? Before he could regret it anymore, his phone buzzed again.

And again. 

And again.

Aomine was almost afraid to look.

_Not Blondie_

**_\- Two things._ **

_Not Blondie_

**_\- How did you know that name? Did she tell you to call me that? Did you know that this would happen?!?!_ **

_Not Blondie_

**_\- ok technically that was like three questions but who cares. and did you just ask me on a date?_ **

To say that Aomine was confused was an understatement. He couldn’t decide which question confused him the most. _**Name?? what name??? and IDK I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO GO TO LUNCH?**_

Aomine started walking once more, knowing that he was best to not walk and text because with the way this conversation was going, he would definitely walk into traffic before he figured out what was happening.

_Not Blondie_

**_\- “Tiger”. She calls me that sometimes. I thought she told you to say it. And I mean, I invited myself but I was just kidding. I didn’t think you’d really want to take some guy you don’t know out to lunch. Hell, I wasn’t even expecting a conversation to happen lol_ **

Aomine groaned again. What was it with his flirting luck today? _**She calls you Tiger? why? whats your name? and oh… well now i feel dumb lol**_

The Tiger messaged back quickly.

_Not Blondie_

**_\- It’s Kagami Taiga. and don’t wtf. I didn’t say I didn’t want to go._ **

Aomine felt the heat rushing to his ears as the guy, now known as Kagami Taiga, messaged him back again.

_Not Blondie_

**_\- I just didn’t know if you were serious that’s all…_ **

Aomine bit down on his lip because there was something innocently sweet about that message and he wasn’t sure how he should feel about that. _**oh… oh okay…**_

He hit send before he realized that he definitely should have added more to that response. _**so uh, Kagami, do you know where Maji is?**_

_Not Blondie_

**_\- Hell yeah, I do!_ **

Aomine scratched his cheek. _**do you want to meet up there?**_

_Not Blondie_

**_\- Now?_ **

Aomine fidgeted, just a little. _ **Yeah. Unless you’re busy**_

_Not Blondie_

**_\- Nah, now’s fine. I was just out shooting some hoops anyway. Im not too far from there_ **

Aomine’s eyebrows shot up, _**you play ball?**_

_Not Blondie_

**_\- Fuck yeah I do. Why? do you?_ **

Aomine was unnecessarily excited. **_I’m only the best thing since sliced bread bruh_ **

_Not Blondie_

**_\- awww shit. someone is asking for an ass beating???? I THINK SOMEONE IS ASKING FOR IT_ **

Aomine grinned as he turned around, heading back down the street towards Maji. _**we can talk about ass beatings after lunch**_

It only took about 10 seconds before Aomine realized how suggestive that sounded

_Not Blondie_

**_\- Woah ok slow down there. we havent even met yet ;)_ ** ****

Aomine’s ears were definitely on fire now. _**shut up! you know what i meant!**_

_Not Blondie_

**_\- lmfaooo yeah yeah i know. so how do i know who i’m looking for? i still dont even know your name_ **

Oh, right. **_Aomine Daiki. and dont worry. you’ll be able to tell who i am immediately. i’m so hot its hard not to notice_**

When Kagami texted back, Aomine was confident he could _feel_ the sarcasm in his text.

_Not Blondie_

**_\- oh my. my first blind date and it’s with a hottie. i’m so excited_ **

Aomine was definitely offended. _**listen here u sarcastic piece of shit**_

_Not Blondie_

**_\- Name calling already? i can see that we will get long well_ **

Aomine snorted. _**oh shut up. so how am i going to know what you look like?**_

_Not Blondie_

**_\- you’ll know. a tall redhead with a basketball is hard to miss._ ** ****

Aomine grinned, keeping his eyes glued to his phone as he stood at the street corner across from Maji’s entrance. _**tall and redheaded? sounds interesting**_

_Not Blondie_

**_-I can’t tell if you’re mocking me or not but im almost there._ **

Aomine snickered when the light changed. **_same. im crossing the street._  **

_Not Blondie_

**_idiot dont text and walk_  **

Aomine laughed but before he could respond, he heard the distinct sound of a basketball hitting the ground. Glancing up from his phone, he could see a man in the distance, lazily dribbling a ball with one hand as he walked down the sidewalk, phone in the other hand. _**i sense a hypocrite**_  

Aomine watched as the man got closer. His heart made a particularly loud thump as his facial features slowly began to take form under that shocking mass of red hair. A lopsided grin formed on his face as he read what popped up on his phone. He stopped bouncing the ball and tucked it under his arm and began typing back without looking up.

_Not Blondie_

**_\- wat do you mean??_ **

Aomine smirked. Taking a few more steps, he stopped right in front of Kagami’s path and sent another message. _**look up, idiot.**_

A few seconds later, Kagami paused before he reacted obediently, looking up from his phone and making eye contact with Aomine for the first time and -

God.

Damn. 

He was adorable?!

Kagami’s eyes were wide and a bit sheepish. His eyes were a deep shade of red that seemed to look right through him. He had a pair of thick, split eyebrows that honestly made no sense but Aomine was still distracted by how attractive he was. A hint of pink formed on Kagami’s cheeks as he put his phone back into his pocket and rubbed the back of his neck, chuckling awkwardly as he stopped right in front of Aomine.

“Ahh… So you’re Aomine, eh?”

Aomine could not get over him right now. “Y-yeah.” Fuck! He stuttered! Aomine cleared his throat and tried again. “In the flesh. Am I as hot as I thought I was?”

Kagami laughed, a rich, heavy bellow of laughter that vibrated from the center of his chest and shot an arrow straight through Aomine’s heart. “You’re even more full of yourself than I thought.” He grinned, resting his basketball on his hip. “I’ll let you know what I think, maybe after lunch and _after_ you beat me in a game.” Kagami spun the ball on the tip of his finger and turned towards Maji. “You down?”

Aomine raised an eyebrow, his lips twitching into a smile of his own, “You’re on!”

* * *

 Later that night

* * *

Aomine flopped down on his bed, staring lazily up at the ceiling as his body began to sink into the mattress when his phone buzzed. He hoped that was who he thought it was… 

It was.

_Kagami_

**_\- Thanks for lunch today!_**

Kagami's stomach was actually a nightmare.  _ **Shut up! Why didn’t you warn me that you ATE SO DAMN MUCH?**_

_Kagami_

**_\- Rude. I eat a normal amount. and if you didnt notice, you definitely ate almost as much as i did…_ **

Aomine frowned because he was 100% right…

_Kagami_

**_\- Besides… why didn’t you tell me you were so damn good at ball?_**  

Aomine’s ego shot through the roof. _**well you were too busy offering an ass beating, i couldnt correct you through text**_

_Kagami_

**_\- unbelievable_ **

Aomine rolled onto his side, _**besides. i remember a certain someone saying they’d tell me what they really thought if i beat them in ball ;)**_

_Kagami_

**_\- …_ **

Aomine grinned so hard, his cheeks were starting to hurt. _**yessss???**_

_Kagami_

**_\- no_**  

Aomine sat up, _**hey! a deal is a deal!**_

_Kagami_

**_\- WE NEVER SHOOK HANDS_ **

Aomine didn't know anyone could text so fast.  _ **DON’T**_ ** _GIVE ME THAT_**

_Kagami_

**_\- I’M GOING TO BED_ **

He wouldn't...! _**WAIT A SECOND. DONT U DARE**_

_Kagami_

**_\- GOOD NIGHT_ **

HE DID?! _**KAGAMI?!**_

There was no response for about 10 minutes.

_**God damn it, Kagam** **i** **!** _

Another 10 minutes passed an Aomine was sure that Kagami actually did go to bed without telling him. Groaning loudly, Aomine stared at his phone for a few more seconds before deciding to send one more text _ **Good night, Kagami. It was nice meeting you. I hope we can meet up more so i can kick your ass on the court again**_

* * *

 

At some point at 4am in the morning, Aomine's phone buzzed in the palm of his hand as he slept.

Kagami

_**\- it was nice meeting you to. and to tell the truth, you were as hot as you thought you were lol. so yes, i’d love to see you again. except next time, i’ll be kicking your ass.** _

 


End file.
